shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
