So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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