if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
