so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
