Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
