apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
