Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
