i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
