i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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