this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
