yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
