'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
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