Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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