worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
