How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
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