I think I died a long time ago.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
