Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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