How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
