His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
