i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
