They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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