let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize