he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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