Pants 0. Shit 1.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
