Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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