Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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