i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
