I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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