White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
