Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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