I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
