MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
