Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
