if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
