I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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