My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
