Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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