I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
