Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
