whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you are never too drunk for berry picking
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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