Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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