Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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