"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Such a big mess for such a small penis
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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