take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
