He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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