Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
