I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
