How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
