Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
