im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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