I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
