I will die if light touches me.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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